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Sextuplet Identities: Late Adolescence


Teenage years are tough enough, but not quite as challenging as having to deal with six all at once! Especially now that they are emerging into adulthood, we still try to treat our children as the unique individuals they are. The latest years have shown many differences between boys and girls and we've found plenty of research on how to handle this. There are a variety of new issues arising today on topics that help differentiate teens in areas such as dating, alcohol, sex, friends, and jobs. Brooks has done an exceptional job laying out the ideas and we've definitely used them to our advantage.

According to Brooks, girls rate their physical health less well than boys their age. One thing we noticed with our girls was they were in constant competition to be the prettiest or the slimmest. We had to sit them all down one day and explain that everybody and every body is different. Even though they come from a group of six, our children are all fraternal. So gentetically, some may physically look different in terms of size. Karmen always complained about being too small and Kelly always thought she was too big. And Kate had a different opinion every week it seemed! We told them all that it's ok to look different and that they are all beautiful in their own ways.

Brooks also noted that boys are more sexually active than girls. We had a few issues with Justin because he was so free-spirited and in his own world that girls didn't appeal to him as soon as they did for his brothers. They would tease him about it, but we reminded him that everyone is different and that he didn't have to be the "chick magnet" like they called Jacob. And he didn't even need to worry! He's been in a steady relationship with a wonderful girl for about a year now!

All parents face the dreaded sex and drug conversation. It's a little more of a tricky situation when you're trying to instill good values in six teens. In our research of Brooks, we found a lot of helpful information. We did have this talk with our boys first, because they were more interested in sex before the girls were. We can not stress how important it is to tell your kids your own personal views on sex. Whether it's don't have sex at all, use protection, or however you feel, just tell them! We found that one half of adolescents who do not have sex say the main reason is fear of parents finding out. So if you don't want your teenagers having sex, you can scare them away from the idea. It is a difficult topic to bring up, but it is worth it to save you the aggrevation of dealing with consequences when it's too late.

Peer pressure is a very important issue at this age. Brooks says young teens are vulnerable; they want to gain peer acceptance. Student achievement is also related to how they feel about themselves and their abilities. How teens feel about themselves is related to what others think of them. In these years, teens are spending two times the amount of time with peers than parents according to Brooks. Peer influence is a very real problem, especially when they are spending more time with them than you. Also tied in is alcohol...don't just discourage your kids from drinking, tell them the statistics and they just might listen!

We have seen our sextuplets' relationships between each other improve in these later years. They are each others' peers, and we see them providing support for one other. It is also very fulfilling to see their adult traits emerging!

♥J&K

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

It looks like you have done very well with your family!! It must be an exciting challenge to have sextuplets!

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