Bullying

While bullying was not an overwhelming issue for our sextuplets, there have definitely been a few distinct times we can recall when our children needed our help to deal with an unfriendly peer. There is a particular instance with Kelly that happened when she was a teenager where we needed to step in, but we'll get to that in a moment.

First, just to clarify, bullying is not just an issue that happens on the playground when children are very young, either; different types of bullying can occur for children throughout their childhood, adolescent and even post-adolescent years.

According to bullying.org, the five main types of bullying are: verbal, physical, social, extortion and cyber-bullying. It is also considered bullying when the treatment is repeated and intentional. It is all about power, gaining attention, and a misunderstanding of differences that leads to people getting hurt. It is noted in Brooks's book that victims of bullies are often quiet, inhibited children. About 10 to 15 percent of all children are victims of bullying.

The main lesson we instilled in the sextuplets when it came to bullying was to have confidence, be yourself, and stay calm. We also encouraged them to speak up and tell us or a teacher or co-worker about what is happening. Once our child showed bravery and made it apparent to their bully that they were not afraid to stand up for themselves, that is when the bullying stopped.

A unique version of bullying happened to Kelly when she was in middle school. She created a MySpace account, which we approved of so long as we monitored her behavior on the site now and then and made sure nothing shady was happening. Soon after creating the account, however, another girl from her middle school began messaging her, threatening to steal her boyfriend and turn her friends against her. Kelly was not even sure why this was happening, but it was clear that the messages were upsetting to her.

According to cyberbullying.org, being an online bully is a way of acting out in a way that may not be possible in real life. Perhaps the girl who was harassing Kelly felt a certain type of power by hiding behind a computer screen instead of confronting her face-to-face.

In school, there were no issues with the girl. What Kelly ended up doing was talking, calmly, to the girl face-to-face and letting her know that her parents had seen the messages and were not happy. She was quite embarrassed and the messages stopped after that.

We were glad that Kelly had the guts not only to tell us what was happening, but to call the girl out on her behavior. It was a very mature step.

♥J&K